tbh why wud anyone in a relationship enforce their will on the other, sounds dumb to me.
idk u do u, show her a game, but mute everyone, and if u party tell them beforehand ur plan so they don't go batshit.
if she doesn't like it, oh well, do what u have to do.
The question is: Does she like strategy and thinking to win?
If the answer is yes, then the best way is not to push it. But instead slowly tell her things about the game that she might like. If she doesn't like strong language, introduce her to the mute button. That thing is really useful. Show her how you both can enjoy the game together.
If the answer is no, then it's a lot harder. But it largely involves the stuff from the previous answer. Show her the things she likes about it. Don't be confrontational, but letting it just fall into some conversations when you discuss stuff you like can get her more interested over time. The trick to showing people something that they are resistant to is to slowly relate it to things they like. Do that well enough and it should work out.
Getting married > dota though in the end.
" the fact that I can't deny" Make sure its below half health.
Jokes aside. Just give up on dota man. Is it really worth giving up your girlfriend for? And really, don't teach her dota. It will destroy your relationship. Maybe you can still play, but not as often. Get some kids and learn them dota maybe? ez money.
^if ur relationship is destroyed over a petty video game u never had a relationship in the first place.
@Zardecil I really like your answer. Can you give some examples assuming she looks down on virtual world, like online dating etc. because they're not real.
@RtCD you're wrong in 2 points. 1, our relationship is never gonna end, god willing, even if I have to quit dota; 2, I don't see dota as a petty video game.
My girl hates dota bc ill some times end up ignoring her because of it.
If this is a real issue then you are prob addicted to dota.
Dota is a game worthless to real life, however, each person in a relationship needs space, learn how to give attention to her over dota, idk about dropping dota but if it's a real problem that effects your relationship drop the game.
Yeah you play like 4-10 games a day, which is 4-10 hours that you are choosing a game over your girl, pretty sure she feels umimportant over the game
whyd u want to engage with a person who doesnt respect/understand ur hobbies is a mystery to me
our relationship is never gonna end
I never suggested this
also I just mean a game in general is far inferior in terms of importance, as compared to a relationship, in this way it is petty in relation to something of the magnitude of a couples relationship.
Also don't go on a place like dotabuff to ask these questions lol. Majority of people on here love this game too deeply to understand life outside of dota lol
Also don't go on a place like dotabuff to ask these questions lol. Majority of people on here love this game too deeply to understand life outside of dota lol
did u even read the responses?
its not abt dota, some people just don't understand one of the people in a couple questioning the others hobbies, be it dota or basketball or poker or writing or anything, me included. its not abt life outside dota, and idk how tf u reached that conclusion.
Posting anything serious online leads to people memeing it, therefore, messing around with the person who's asking the question.
I don't expect the people on dotabuff to give actual answers based on any other real question posted here
Sorry to break it to you, but i strongly would advise to think over your marriage. I was together with my ex for a very long time and I was in a similair situation. It started with not playing dota, then not playing games at all, change my clothing, my hairstyle etc. Basicially your gf tries to change who you are, which will end in a disaster. If she cannot accept the fact that you happen to like a video game named dota and she forces you to quit playing something you enjoy, then it won't stop there. You will end up divorrced at some point and the relationship cannot stand much more than maybe 5 - 7 years. I'd talk to her and if she still wants to give you the ultimatum then you should leave her.
However since loves does make blind, you probably won't believe me once it's over anyways.
Listen man here's the real advice, WHENEVER someone is saying you have to choose that person OR something it's a form of emotional extortion. She is trying to strong arm you into giving up your hobby and it really doesn't matter that it's just a video game, it just talks spades about how your relationship is going to be like. HUGE red flag in my opinion. I am myself am married and my wife is fine with me gaming because she understand that it's just something that I grew up doing and it's my personal time. That being said of course you can't dedicate all your time to dota, you gotta give her enough attention and make sure your career isn't in shambles and you are going somewhere in life. So if you plan to quit dota do it for yourself but honestly FUCK THAT "you have to choose" shit, a quality girl wouldnt do that.
This is all so personal and everyone has their own character, they have different answer for themselves.
"Follow where your heart desires"? xD
But from the side, I think... if you can quit dota from this, god willing, you should give it a try. hehehehe
I'm the person who would avoid sexual attraction because I know I've sold my soul to doto
You getting into this mess means you're probably never serious about doto so why doubt now?
Bro for every normal girl that our gaming is just a wasting time, playing like kids etc, i lost girl of my life couse of dota, and all girls before pretty much couse of gaming, they never understand that dota we love so much is couse of this is a not just a game, its such a complex thing even you play your 1k or 5k doesn't matter we all trying understand game as we can we all feel winning loosing, im sometimes sad as fuck after lost winable game, even unranked, and thats the point this is not abou playing as kids you winnning and loosing games we called dota, we not playing samething pointless, brainless or so.
I used to play Counter-Strike for about 10years and hell yeah its a different story that game is still same, 20years ppl playing same maps, with same guns, not much space for creativity.You have to explain your gf this game will be here forever as chess you cant really compare doto with any other game, its more our hobby/sport (lul) than nothing saying "game" i think especially we older players who playing games for aegis know this is different, that level of competition is absurd difference between each 1k of mmr is huge that's also how dota can have a that big events as have, couse players are happy to support best players in the world buy battle pass, this is also something special.
Stop playing it couse of gf is bullsh.it, you never be rly happy with her and you will be under dog, some girls will never understand this some of us want to play games at least sometimes.Im singl now and im fucki.n happy never limit yourself on what you love is my advice, your destiny girl will come one day anyway bealive me.
Just from the fact that you are even thinking about not leaving the game proves how unmature you are and how you really should consider overall getting involved . Those type of things in life lasts much MUCH longer than fucking videogame. You probably wont even care about this game after 1or2 years after what you will regret everything you done.
And asking life advice on dota forum? damn..
how would you feel if you can't talk or interact with your girl for several 30 minute to 1 hour spurts in a day? that's how she sees it. women hate being ignored.
if you could schedule one game a day or quit and come back at a later date (with less playtime), I think that's doable. If she's a reasonable girlfriend she can do without your attention for an hour, maybe two hours a day even if you live together. Five long games straight? Forget it.
I speak from experience because I walked away from the game when I had my first child. You can't mix a newborn and DoTA without a lot of abandons.
But you know, and I know, that deep down she is right. Like Sumail said - "You can not play Dota for fun, it's a time waste"
If your girlfriend gave you an ultimatum, its possible that you maybe just play too much from her point of view. Tone it down a bit and take it from there bruh.
lmao you dont even play much, i dont see why shes angry. well if you treat this game as more like a hobby, playing casually, i dont see why its even a choice whether you stop playing and take care of a lasting relationship OR stick with the game youre never gonna be that good with and break up with someone who legit cared enough for you to nose into your personal bizz
idk you tho so theres my 2 cents
Its the decision you have to make sooner or later. Its not like you will have time to play dota after having a job wife and children
Its not like you will have time to play dota after having a job wife and children
lol
jokes on you raj. kelly, a barely legal individual and now loving and responsible father, has played more games than i have, an adolescent boy in the middle of fucking summer
A lot of good advice given. Op might not like it but he should seriously consider it.
Be a real man. If you think she's right that you play too much or it's not good for you, make your own decision to quit. If she's giving you an ultimatum I would be extremely careful. It has to be your fuxking decision and not hers.
These Sumails opinions so retarde.d, same as he said "i dont have any real friends, not even in school" that guy know only dota after i saw this he lost all my sympathize, youre not need gf but fuck everyone need friends the real ones out of doto
Ye we live for happiness. If shes trying to change too much ditch her. Imo u and ur gf lifestyle is different and cannot understand each other means better break up.
it's not about thinking that games are more important than social life or whatever is that supposed to imply
but you should think about this:
why is your girlfriend giving you ultimatums?
The issue isn't dota, it's your relationship with her. She is lacking something and you need to figure out what it is. It's easy to say it's time cus I spend to much time playing dota but that might not be it. When you do spend time what do you do? Do you really connect and talk and listen to her? Does she feel emotionally fulfilled? If she did I don't think she will mind you playing video games some times.
Well she obviously thinks that gaming is not good for your relationship and it comes between it, what you have to do is to maintain a balance between your girl and gaming, make her know (not by words but acts) that you care about her more than dota, you can also play other games than dota with her, some which are not so complicated to learn, like TF2 or some other shit...
but yea that's my advice, GL bro :)
fucking quit dota dude this games a leech and you will not regret it at all years down th eline
in 5 years nobody will play this game and your girl will be a living breathing person who cares about you maybe
probably because its taking up hours of his free time and destabilizing him emotionally, while taking away from the limited time they have together especially if they work or have a ton of school
Yes but if that is happening it might just be because he doesn't really enjoy being with her that much and he'll just turn to something else. Like tv, other friends, another sport or hobby.
So many good advices given. Thank you guys. So now I'll act like a man - tell her that I'm not gonna quit it right away right now, maybe later, maybe never (which is possible); and when I marry her, I'll make sure to provide her with more than enough attention (love, sex, romance, clothing, money, social life etc.) and AFTER THAT nail it good with Rubick and be proud o'myself - both in front of my wife and those 9 monkeys.
"I dont know if ill stop playing altogether. Games are fun to me. Just like how (x) is fun to you. But i promise to focus less on games and devote more time to us."
Then when youre alone, light a cigar, start up dotes and first pick AM.
Thank me later.
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My girlfriend whom I intend to marry, says I must choose between her and dota. She's a really nice and smart girl, and she only requires it bec it's good for me, the fact that I can't deny, but hey, it's dota man! How can someone quit dota? I'll quit it without any doubt if it's the only way to be with her, but do you think I can make her change her mind? I'm thinking on teaching her dota, but with so many dumb unfed bastards in game i'm afraid her feelings may get hurt. She's rather sensitive to strong language, and I don't have any friends to party with. Even if we play 5-man-party, you won't know what the other guys have to say.