I was gonna say bh players in 2k are all shitstains who still think bh is a carry, but earlier this morning I've seen bh get picked 3 times, 2 of them playing support
PA : I'm the best player on this team so I'll pick pa haHAA I'll carry this team by myself haHAA Dagger can kill every enemy in one hit haHAA (this one is a rare gem) B A T T L E F U R Y H A H A A
NS spectre = I'm an amazng carry haHAA I'll buy VG and BM haHAA with those items I'll kill everyone ez haHAA after those items I get radi to fight not to farm haHAA I get manta last btw haHAA I'll throw by giving 1k gold to the enemy carry cuz I yolo with 1/5 hp without aegis although I have HoT haHAA see we win I'm so pro haHAA
Venomancer: Sadist, likes watching the game in slow motion.
Pudge: Dense, semi-braindead, foreign teenager. Ganks by walking in a straight line and leeching XP.
Axe: The guy playing Pudge has a brother.
Leshrac: Still living in the glory days of Leshrac Mid. Likes roleplaying as a race car on fire. Pseudo-intellectual.
Phoenix: Sad boy with mommy issues.
Invoker: Homosexual, thinks he's really good.
Elder Titan: Your dad.
Bloodseeker : these guys just play, do not talk much. there is 2 type of these guys : actualy fast farm bloodseeker lvl 6 at minute <6. or those bloodseekers farming midas lvl 6 at minute 10. either good guy to have or burden. overall they just play their game not talk much
tinkers : they all buy soul ring on laning stage instead go travels
they all cry when they die by gank and dont know there are 2 runes at their side and 2 camps all it takes to be careful and get travels in 9 10 11 min but they mad and stupid and stay midd and try to push and kill with maxing laser and rockets
Midlaner: Let's 1v9 this, everyone is a retard except me.
Safe lane carry: Let's 1v9 this, everyone is a retard except me. Probably stole the lane from someone with 500 or more MMR points than him. Possibly the lowest MMR in the team as well.
Offlaner: Mute guy, might feed.
Safe lane support: "I was AFK before I could pick a core" or whiny bitch who complains 24/7 about shitty carries and midlaners.
Roamer: I don't want to support but still want to win, might feed.
Jungler: Autist, even if he is good. Actually, if he's good, it's even more likely that he's autistic.
The above doesn't apply if the player is decent, unless they are tilted of course.
Crystal Maidens: The ultimate whiners. Rush agh's, rush blink, flame carries, are likely to feed and complain about cores but can't ward/zone for shit, these fuckers put the "Cry" in Crystal Maiden
Every single weaver I've had for the past 30 games - lastpick weaver into the offlane, although it had already been called for solo off, right click creeps nonstop, max 3rd skill, get no defensive items(dlance->deso->Daedalus->always more dps, never bkb or linkens)
Slark - angry raging tard, who thinks he's about to win a game, but feeds and gets get carried by someone else like 60% of the time.
Anti-Mage - doesn't know how to play AM, has a 15+ naked BF and forces his team to fight 4v5, until eventually the game is lost or he gets carried. Very passive. I have lowest winrate with AM's in my team.
Brood/Meepo/Visage/Lone Druid/Pudge - either a literal enemy team player in my own team OR a guy, who carries the team solo. Usually quiet.
Timbersaw - usually has the most inefficient skill/item build ever, but I am not gonna tell him anything anyway (e.g. insanely bad skillbuild like 3-0-2-1, which makes my eyes bleed). Sometimes feeds. Generally chill though.
Slardar/Tidehunter - feeds, either contests my offlane to be useless and forces me to go jungle/roaming or feeds against me in the enemy team. Usually convinced, that he's doing everything right and that he's being very valuable, picked a very good hero, etc.
Phantom Lancer - usually useless, borderline AM-tier useless. This is just the way it goes, when I get PL's in my team. Also VERY tilted.
Beastmaster/Brewmaster - almost guaranteed to have no idea what the f**k he's gonna do with the hero, feeds, doesn't care about the game. Beast has no summons and maxes Wild Axes. Brew doesn't use Primal Split actives. They also may later tilt out, buyback and leave the game.
Magnus - usually a good player, who later transitions into a semicarry. Very chill and cooperating.
SPECIAL MENTION
This type isn't about a specific hero, but a player type. The guy, who AGGRESSIVELY suggests me heroes in the picking stage. Like "no timber, pick tide" or "NO BROOD" "wtf abaddon solo? muted". YOU are the reason I premute the whole team and use binds/chat ring to communicate with the team. You think you know, which heroes to offlane with, even though you probably don't even play in the offlane and then you do, you feed. DO NOT AGGRESSIVELY SUGGEST YOUR CRAP HEROES, WHICH JUST WON'T WORK. LET PEOPLE PLAY THE HEROES, THEY ARE PERSONALLY COMPETENT WITH. Sometimes I just wish I could display my selected hero winrates on my profile in Dota, so dumbos wouldn't dare to suggest what hero to pick, when it just so happens, that I know better (I really do in MOST cases, as the statistics show). Play your Slark/TA/whatever, feed your sefelane, feed mid, I don't care. Just let me pick my hero and try to do my best without your dumb useless suggestions.
That's it. I let all of my inner rage go out. Not in the game at least.
P.S. These are just my observations, I don't believe they apply in every game, hell, I don't even say anything in text/voice in 90% of games. It's just the inner "the probability of losing/winning this game is relatively high/low" feeling I get. I almost never really express it, even if the players are godawful-tier bad.
Pretty sure timber mid goes 3-1-1-1 tho after 6 i wud pick up a chains value point if i chose 3-0-2-1. Chain is dumb to max when u want to stay in the mid cuz there rnt trees around.
I was talking about primarily offlane Timbers. I don't know how to play him mid, lulz. Literally not a single game in 100+.
I never even try to criticize the mids, cause I simply may not know the proper ways to do certain things.
P.S. I won't say that in game, because I wouldn't want to tilt anyone. Still, deep inside, I cry whenever I see a Timber, who doesn't max E. I just feel like every Tiimber with 1-2 points in E has a maximum of 55 winrate with him or most likely less. Maxing Q is like the worst possible way of skillbuilding him. Period. Maxed out E allows you to dive T2's by level 7 and just destroy everything, create so much space. You're like a Broodmother in the sense, that you make the whole evemy team forced to team up on you. Maybe I am missing out on something.
And you just say "fuck that" and max skills for damage, which you wouldn't even be able to properly inflict, for you'll lack sustainability and just feed (not enough regen/armor to dive, to tank LOTS of heroes). I've seen SO MANY Timbers like that and I understand, that I would've played way better in their position, would've had a higher GPM/damage/KDA on Timber. This is what spawns in my head whenever I notice a Timber in my team feeding against a freewin pick. Again, I don't act upon my tilting thoughts and just play my game, but feel minor irritation.
SF: " yo mid 2 tangos plz". 98% of the time is peruvian, cant hit razes, will chain feed and blame others for not ganking or calling rotations. Watches way too many dota wtf videos of 80+ soul SF players rampaging enemy team
Mirana: typically pretty cool player. Speaks english, coordinates well. Tends to yolo arrow and if it hits, leap, Q, then feeds. If the arrow misses, gets relentlessly flamed by team.
Clock: havent met a jerk clock player. If my team has a clock i am happy
Void:
Will catch me in chrono 3-4 times minimum. After each failed teamfight will flame until respawn about how he badly needs more farm
Invoker:
Usually a Peruvian tryharder who tries desperately to land combos but usually ends up just trying to sunstrike KS every one of my solo ganks.
Slark:
Will relentlessly flame team if things dont go well from the start. "Gg end mid pls im afk report mid rata" then gets a triple kill at 14:00 and starts snowballing and becoming unkillable. Is the first to ask for commends when his team is pummeling your ancient
Brood:
Always picks 1st or 2nd, gets countered by ES, slardar and Axe, builds the wrong items, usually ends up 2-13. If you are lucky, they announce "1st time brood" in pick screen
Meepo:
Hi, im smurfing. I'll die 16 times but have a yolo ultra kill late and win the game anyways
KOTL:
Hi, lets play dota. Im going to ruin your day, ok?
Shadow shaman:
Im going to build a blink dagger and more or less keep you disabled and wrapped in snake wards the whole game
NP:
I just watched ti3 final and want to be like bulldog. Im going to build a treant army, march it at the enemy t2 and feed 400 gold to the enemy sven
Abaddon: Don't worry, bro. I gotcha. Wanna dive? Ill shield you. Low health? Ill heal you. Enemy team wipe? Lets push i have my passive ultra pushing shit. Tower's hitting me? Don't worry, orb. I have ulti every minute.
As another poster said you don't always need heros for this.
Mid player: Think they are god, ones that flame suck, the silent ones are great. If you kill the flamers twice they tilt and chain feed couriers.
Great example, double ganking SF mid, smoke gank once, types "ggwp" , tps back to middle, change and get 2x bashes , dies. types "GG team no rotate, Team no buy TP" and suddenly the courier shows up , sf tp's and kills items.
probably has the worst attitiude and tilts the easiest.
Offlaner who never offlanes: Godforbid they play a support. they pick a carry (PA. SLARK) and head to the offlane. Freak out and flame when they aren't getting anyfarm from a trilane. Fails to understand the concept of picking an offlaner is to have a hero that has high impact with levels and not much gold. Usually gets first fighting item , dies and then blames team.
The realofflaner: usually chill ppl , don't flame and only ask for 1 ward. Sometimes might get a bit whiney when they hit a power spike and no one will rotate to gank the carry for a kill
Poverty level 3000 support: These poor souls will ensure that obs wards are always out of stock, has brown boots and tp at minute 12. Will try to zone an offlaner with only 2 tangos and a clarity because they bought all the wards, the courier, gave 2 tangos to that f@#king needy mid player. Carry gets pissed when they lose the lane because the support couldn't trade hits with the duo offlaners because all his money when into support items while that JUNGLE LC rushes treads and an armlet. GG WP EZ -25 MMR
Supporting sucks but someone has to do it, commmend them often.
Junglers : They can all burn in hell. 1/10 games end with a jungler actually doing a really good job and you need the right draft to pull it off. ex. Jugg + CM safe lane, QOP mid lane or something with escape mech, offlane Underlord , then perhaps the jungler can work. 9/10 the jungler is a selfish peice of doodie who rather then pick a roamer or another support would rather lose MMR because " IM NOT SUPPORTING" They spam LC and BS/WK
The whiney support: Trying to call all the shots then fails at the fundamental of supporting, contest offlaner/zone him. pull for xp and gold while denying xp. Smoke ganks on rune timing. Instad they sit near xp range, doing nothing . Might toss out the odd spell. Whines after each team fight causing ppl to tilt.
The "I'm forced to support and hate it so I'll rush midas and steal last hits"
This person either, Randomed or picked a support since it was 4 cores already.
The carry died early due to a rotation because the support was farming jungle creeps and not doing his job. Blames carry, shows up in lane and begins to try and take Xp and gold because " carry retard, don't waste gold on retard" kind of things. Stops buying wards almost completely , gets a midas and afk farms while the team is getting rekt in other lanes, by the time the last T2 is pushed they got the midas, games over in 10 minutes, types " gg report carry" and reports him. Super toxic.
Might get diabetes and high blood pressure from all the salt this guy has.
most rubick players i get matched with in solo q are insanely tozic for some reason
skarks tend to be muted ping-spamming retards
I was gonna say bh players in 2k are all shitstains who still think bh is a carry, but earlier this morning I've seen bh get picked 3 times, 2 of them playing support
Is the world coming to an end?
Phoenix = DON'T RUN! I'M HELPING U GANK U SCRUB
PA : I'm the best player on this team so I'll pick pa haHAA I'll carry this team by myself haHAA Dagger can kill every enemy in one hit haHAA (this one is a rare gem) B A T T L E F U R Y H A H A A
Necrophos: I watched Goodboy's guides and I found out this hero is op! Time to get ez mmr! :D
Seriously tho, necro is fucking cancer
NS spectre = I'm an amazng carry haHAA I'll buy VG and BM haHAA with those items I'll kill everyone ez haHAA after those items I get radi to fight not to farm haHAA I get manta last btw haHAA I'll throw by giving 1k gold to the enemy carry cuz I yolo with 1/5 hp without aegis although I have HoT haHAA see we win I'm so pro haHAA
And that guy is a fucking spectre spammer with only 3 KDA and sub65% winrate after 100+ games
Venomancer: Sadist, likes watching the game in slow motion.
Pudge: Dense, semi-braindead, foreign teenager. Ganks by walking in a straight line and leeching XP.
Axe: The guy playing Pudge has a brother.
Leshrac: Still living in the glory days of Leshrac Mid. Likes roleplaying as a race car on fire. Pseudo-intellectual.
Phoenix: Sad boy with mommy issues.
Invoker: Homosexual, thinks he's really good.
Elder Titan: Your dad.
Crystal Maiden: Likes to do jack shit all game, whines about team when they lose, thinks they're god when they win
Bloodseeker : these guys just play, do not talk much. there is 2 type of these guys : actualy fast farm bloodseeker lvl 6 at minute <6. or those bloodseekers farming midas lvl 6 at minute 10. either good guy to have or burden. overall they just play their game not talk much
Medusa :
Dota_chat_mute_everyone 1
45 min afk
GG ez
Faceless void = Amazing player with amazing skill
Anti-Mage = Amazing player with amazing skill
Juggernaut = Amazing player with amazing skill
tinkers : they all buy soul ring on laning stage instead go travels
they all cry when they die by gank and dont know there are 2 runes at their side and 2 camps all it takes to be careful and get travels in 9 10 11 min but they mad and stupid and stay midd and try to push and kill with maxing laser and rockets
Sven: testicles the size of boulders
Clockwerk: has a very long dick and always goes balls deep. He strictly follows the "no pu$$y" rule.
monkey players: either gonna snowball like shit or lose to the farmed and tanky cores of the other team like shit. either way it's shit
Spirit breaker: My team will follow me anywhere I charge
this
Don't need heroes for this.
Midlaner: Let's 1v9 this, everyone is a retard except me.
Safe lane carry: Let's 1v9 this, everyone is a retard except me. Probably stole the lane from someone with 500 or more MMR points than him. Possibly the lowest MMR in the team as well.
Offlaner: Mute guy, might feed.
Safe lane support: "I was AFK before I could pick a core" or whiny bitch who complains 24/7 about shitty carries and midlaners.
Roamer: I don't want to support but still want to win, might feed.
Jungler: Autist, even if he is good. Actually, if he's good, it's even more likely that he's autistic.
The above doesn't apply if the player is decent, unless they are tilted of course.
Clinkz: Who gives a fuck about last hits, I need to KILL PEOPLE TO GET ITEMS!!
@abadass
That sounds like nearly everyone with any hero below 4k
Crystal Maidens: The ultimate whiners. Rush agh's, rush blink, flame carries, are likely to feed and complain about cores but can't ward/zone for shit, these fuckers put the "Cry" in Crystal Maiden
^besides alchemist
Jungler: Autist, even if he is good. Actually, if he's good, it's even more likely that he's autistic.
Tidehunter players - Fucks their gfs real hard
Shadow Fiend and Slark: 1 gank and they're out of the game. Tilted.
Tidehunter: mouth-breathers, the type to spoil movies, leaves zipper unzipped
good chen players: doctor, gets cucked by his brother, pays bills
Every single weaver I've had for the past 30 games - lastpick weaver into the offlane, although it had already been called for solo off, right click creeps nonstop, max 3rd skill, get no defensive items(dlance->deso->Daedalus->always more dps, never bkb or linkens)
Jesus these weaver packers tilt me so hard, it's always an uncalled for pick and then they ruin lanes
Slark - angry raging tard, who thinks he's about to win a game, but feeds and gets get carried by someone else like 60% of the time.
Anti-Mage - doesn't know how to play AM, has a 15+ naked BF and forces his team to fight 4v5, until eventually the game is lost or he gets carried. Very passive. I have lowest winrate with AM's in my team.
Brood/Meepo/Visage/Lone Druid/Pudge - either a literal enemy team player in my own team OR a guy, who carries the team solo. Usually quiet.
Timbersaw - usually has the most inefficient skill/item build ever, but I am not gonna tell him anything anyway (e.g. insanely bad skillbuild like 3-0-2-1, which makes my eyes bleed). Sometimes feeds. Generally chill though.
Slardar/Tidehunter - feeds, either contests my offlane to be useless and forces me to go jungle/roaming or feeds against me in the enemy team. Usually convinced, that he's doing everything right and that he's being very valuable, picked a very good hero, etc.
Phantom Lancer - usually useless, borderline AM-tier useless. This is just the way it goes, when I get PL's in my team. Also VERY tilted.
Beastmaster/Brewmaster - almost guaranteed to have no idea what the f**k he's gonna do with the hero, feeds, doesn't care about the game. Beast has no summons and maxes Wild Axes. Brew doesn't use Primal Split actives. They also may later tilt out, buyback and leave the game.
Magnus - usually a good player, who later transitions into a semicarry. Very chill and cooperating.
SPECIAL MENTION
This type isn't about a specific hero, but a player type. The guy, who AGGRESSIVELY suggests me heroes in the picking stage. Like "no timber, pick tide" or "NO BROOD" "wtf abaddon solo? muted". YOU are the reason I premute the whole team and use binds/chat ring to communicate with the team. You think you know, which heroes to offlane with, even though you probably don't even play in the offlane and then you do, you feed. DO NOT AGGRESSIVELY SUGGEST YOUR CRAP HEROES, WHICH JUST WON'T WORK. LET PEOPLE PLAY THE HEROES, THEY ARE PERSONALLY COMPETENT WITH. Sometimes I just wish I could display my selected hero winrates on my profile in Dota, so dumbos wouldn't dare to suggest what hero to pick, when it just so happens, that I know better (I really do in MOST cases, as the statistics show). Play your Slark/TA/whatever, feed your sefelane, feed mid, I don't care. Just let me pick my hero and try to do my best without your dumb useless suggestions.
That's it. I let all of my inner rage go out. Not in the game at least.
P.S. These are just my observations, I don't believe they apply in every game, hell, I don't even say anything in text/voice in 90% of games. It's just the inner "the probability of losing/winning this game is relatively high/low" feeling I get. I almost never really express it, even if the players are godawful-tier bad.
Pretty sure timber mid goes 3-1-1-1 tho after 6 i wud pick up a chains value point if i chose 3-0-2-1. Chain is dumb to max when u want to stay in the mid cuz there rnt trees around.
I was talking about primarily offlane Timbers. I don't know how to play him mid, lulz. Literally not a single game in 100+.
I never even try to criticize the mids, cause I simply may not know the proper ways to do certain things.
P.S. I won't say that in game, because I wouldn't want to tilt anyone. Still, deep inside, I cry whenever I see a Timber, who doesn't max E. I just feel like every Tiimber with 1-2 points in E has a maximum of 55 winrate with him or most likely less. Maxing Q is like the worst possible way of skillbuilding him. Period. Maxed out E allows you to dive T2's by level 7 and just destroy everything, create so much space. You're like a Broodmother in the sense, that you make the whole evemy team forced to team up on you. Maybe I am missing out on something.
And you just say "fuck that" and max skills for damage, which you wouldn't even be able to properly inflict, for you'll lack sustainability and just feed (not enough regen/armor to dive, to tank LOTS of heroes). I've seen SO MANY Timbers like that and I understand, that I would've played way better in their position, would've had a higher GPM/damage/KDA on Timber. This is what spawns in my head whenever I notice a Timber in my team feeding against a freewin pick. Again, I don't act upon my tilting thoughts and just play my game, but feel minor irritation.
Ye thats a fucking retarded offlane build
SF: " yo mid 2 tangos plz". 98% of the time is peruvian, cant hit razes, will chain feed and blame others for not ganking or calling rotations. Watches way too many dota wtf videos of 80+ soul SF players rampaging enemy team
Mirana: typically pretty cool player. Speaks english, coordinates well. Tends to yolo arrow and if it hits, leap, Q, then feeds. If the arrow misses, gets relentlessly flamed by team.
Clock: havent met a jerk clock player. If my team has a clock i am happy
Void:
Will catch me in chrono 3-4 times minimum. After each failed teamfight will flame until respawn about how he badly needs more farm
Invoker:
Usually a Peruvian tryharder who tries desperately to land combos but usually ends up just trying to sunstrike KS every one of my solo ganks.
Slark:
Will relentlessly flame team if things dont go well from the start. "Gg end mid pls im afk report mid rata" then gets a triple kill at 14:00 and starts snowballing and becoming unkillable. Is the first to ask for commends when his team is pummeling your ancient
Brood:
Always picks 1st or 2nd, gets countered by ES, slardar and Axe, builds the wrong items, usually ends up 2-13. If you are lucky, they announce "1st time brood" in pick screen
Meepo:
Hi, im smurfing. I'll die 16 times but have a yolo ultra kill late and win the game anyways
KOTL:
Hi, lets play dota. Im going to ruin your day, ok?
Shadow shaman:
Im going to build a blink dagger and more or less keep you disabled and wrapped in snake wards the whole game
NP:
I just watched ti3 final and want to be like bulldog. Im going to build a treant army, march it at the enemy t2 and feed 400 gold to the enemy sven
Abaddon: Don't worry, bro. I gotcha. Wanna dive? Ill shield you. Low health? Ill heal you. Enemy team wipe? Lets push i have my passive ultra pushing shit. Tower's hitting me? Don't worry, orb. I have ulti every minute.
As another poster said you don't always need heros for this.
Mid player: Think they are god, ones that flame suck, the silent ones are great. If you kill the flamers twice they tilt and chain feed couriers.
Great example, double ganking SF mid, smoke gank once, types "ggwp" , tps back to middle, change and get 2x bashes , dies. types "GG team no rotate, Team no buy TP" and suddenly the courier shows up , sf tp's and kills items.
probably has the worst attitiude and tilts the easiest.
Offlaner who never offlanes: Godforbid they play a support. they pick a carry (PA. SLARK) and head to the offlane. Freak out and flame when they aren't getting anyfarm from a trilane. Fails to understand the concept of picking an offlaner is to have a hero that has high impact with levels and not much gold. Usually gets first fighting item , dies and then blames team.
The realofflaner: usually chill ppl , don't flame and only ask for 1 ward. Sometimes might get a bit whiney when they hit a power spike and no one will rotate to gank the carry for a kill
Poverty level 3000 support: These poor souls will ensure that obs wards are always out of stock, has brown boots and tp at minute 12. Will try to zone an offlaner with only 2 tangos and a clarity because they bought all the wards, the courier, gave 2 tangos to that f@#king needy mid player. Carry gets pissed when they lose the lane because the support couldn't trade hits with the duo offlaners because all his money when into support items while that JUNGLE LC rushes treads and an armlet. GG WP EZ -25 MMR
Supporting sucks but someone has to do it, commmend them often.
Junglers : They can all burn in hell. 1/10 games end with a jungler actually doing a really good job and you need the right draft to pull it off. ex. Jugg + CM safe lane, QOP mid lane or something with escape mech, offlane Underlord , then perhaps the jungler can work. 9/10 the jungler is a selfish peice of doodie who rather then pick a roamer or another support would rather lose MMR because " IM NOT SUPPORTING" They spam LC and BS/WK
The whiney support: Trying to call all the shots then fails at the fundamental of supporting, contest offlaner/zone him. pull for xp and gold while denying xp. Smoke ganks on rune timing. Instad they sit near xp range, doing nothing . Might toss out the odd spell. Whines after each team fight causing ppl to tilt.
The "I'm forced to support and hate it so I'll rush midas and steal last hits"
This person either, Randomed or picked a support since it was 4 cores already.
The carry died early due to a rotation because the support was farming jungle creeps and not doing his job. Blames carry, shows up in lane and begins to try and take Xp and gold because " carry retard, don't waste gold on retard" kind of things. Stops buying wards almost completely , gets a midas and afk farms while the team is getting rekt in other lanes, by the time the last T2 is pushed they got the midas, games over in 10 minutes, types " gg report carry" and reports him. Super toxic.
Might get diabetes and high blood pressure from all the salt this guy has.
DID I MISS ANY???? MAN was that fun!!!!